Saturday, December 19, 2009

Deeperer Vision: Mobile Affixation

This Deeper Vision is a truly wonderful discovery. Ever since I’ve started practicing it, I’m learning new things every day.

Last Tuesday, driving dreamily along between thither and yon I spotted a very unfortunate person. He meandered across my vision encased in a purple Zen that seemed either to have a mind of its own or a broken steering. A closer look and a quick application of Deeper Vision soon revealed why the car was being driven so driftily:

The young man in charge of manouevring the machine was doing so with one hand only; the other was stuck to a mobile phone which was in turn stuck to his ear. Someone (probably a younger son) had capriciously emptied a tube of super-glue on to his (the young man’s) mobile phone, causing afore-described stuckedness. This hapless person was now driving one-handed to purchase a tube of glue-remover, or possibly to a nearby clinic for some ear-replacement surgery. And judging by the way his lips were moving in silent prayer, I’m inclined to think it was the clinic he was headed for.

Other citizens had noticed the poor fellow’s predicament too and were weaving behind his car, raising a finger at him as they went past; obviously to signify they thought he was doing a first class job. As I found a way past his misdirected Maruti, I showed my compassion by shaking a fist at him – as a symbol of unity and solidarity. Good thing I practice Deeper Vision now, otherwise I would have made uncharitable remarks about his parentage and that of Alexander Graham Bell.

I’d love to tell you that this is just a stray incident, but unfortunately of course it isn’t. I’m sure you must have noticed them too. From Narela to Noida and from Seelampur to Shakur Basti, Delhi’s roads seem to be hosting an alarming invasion of these single-armed, cellphone-affixed drivers. I’m sure they must find the situation very distressing, especially since super-glue remover hasn’t been invented yet and ear replacement surgery sounds like an expensive proposition. And it’s dangerous as well (one-armed driving I mean; not ear replacement surgery, though that doesn’t sound very pleasant either).

Deeper Vision clearly indicates that it’s our civic duty to take to the streets to protest against the unchecked proliferation of super glue in the city, and to press for legislation that will regulate the sale of adhesive substances among households that have mobile phones or younger sons or both.

Otherwise the situation could become really sticky.

Peace, love, happiness.

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