In a fictional survey not conducted by anyone, 93.2% of umbrella users revealed that they used umbrellas to protect themselves from the rain and/or the heat of the sun. (2% used his umbrella primarily as a proxy golf club and 4.8% declined to comment.) All of these 93.2% people then went on to confirm that they indulged in these climate-countering activities completely voluntarily. Rain down, umbrella up – that simple.
