Anyone Know A Good Cellphone Story?

A friend of mine has recently written a novel set in the mid-1800s. Not a very exciting period to pitch your plot in, you’d think. But when you really go into the matter, you’ll see it’s a very smart move. That’s because ever since cellphones happened to humankind, it’s become impossible for a story set in contemporary times to have even a halfway-decent plot.

Flash Fest

Last week, as we sneaked surreptitiously from the watchful vigil of the sub-junior brigade to buy a small batch of smoke-emitting, noise-producing, child-angering firecrackers, it became clear that we’d have to shift over to some other means of zinging up our Diwali. A plentifully available alternative quickly presented itself.

In Delhi, Diwali is marked by the annual eruption of the Flash Party. And no, a Flash Party isn’t what you might think it to be, so kindly keep your raincoats buttoned (though going by the quantity of cleavage and jewellery you can see at these dos, your guess may not be far wrong).

The Long Cut

The wonderful thing about electronic media is the speed with which ideas can be sent back and forth. And since this speed of communication is now far greater than the rate at which we can think up ideas to communicate, generally all you get in your mailbox these days is stuff you had yourself forwarded a couple of weeks ago.

Some Assembly Required

Q www eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee rrrrrrrrr tttttttttt yyyyy uuuuuuu iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii ooooooooo pppppp aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa sssssss ddddd ffff gggggg hh j k llll z x cc vv bb nnnn mmm ,,,,,,,,,, …….. ???? !!!! @#$%&!

Instructions: Assemble according to preference into witty, insightful blog entry

Branding 2.0

Last week when I took the family truck to the service station, I had the choice of getting the tyres filled with Pine-Scented Mountain Air from Kumaon, Goan Sea Breeze or bottled Mistral imported from France. The mountain airs would help my tyres run cool, I was told, while the Goan breeze was obviously more swingy. After much deliberation, I opted for the end of season discount they had on the local Moist Monsoon Magic (the moisture cleans the tyres from the inside).

Sidney's Legs

I teleported home one night

With Ron and Sid and Meg.

Ron stole Meggie's heart away

And I got Sidney's leg.

Mysterious things happen when you shift houses. The fourth dimension is widely believed to be involved – and it is said that the trucks used by packers and movers are actually disguised teleportation devices that save diesel by zipping your furniture through hyperspace rather than along the road. You’ve seen it on Star Trek – de-materialise into atoms, beam atoms to destination, and rematerialise at destination. Like re-constituting powdered milk.

Words You Should Know

I thought 'Facebook limbo' was a lovely term (and an even better quiz question). For those of you who've just crawled out from under a rock, Facebook limbo refers to the state when you've received a request for friendship but haven't yet decided whether to accept or decline. You can keep people in limbo forever if you privately think they're a bit icky but don't want to take the drastic step of actually pressing the button that will tell them to take a long walk off a short pier. All this, summed up in just two pithy words. Fantastic.